A lot of people tell me that I'm quiet, except at sporting events, and then these same people are very surprised by how much I know about things that are going on with them and other people that I've been around. Though I may not have long conversations with everyone I know, I listen even when I'm not in a direct conversation with that person. I listen to everything around me all the time. I know I'm not the most sociable person in the world, but I'm okay with that and that's all that counts.
I'm an observer. I don't care about what's going on with celebrities, I don't care what's going on with people I don't know or don't have a relationship with. I care about those who take the time to get to know me beyond work or what I do volunteering. And I make the time to get to know them and understand them as well. That's what makes friendships work. This doesn't mean I'll put anyone in danger, I'll always make sure everyone is safe, but I just don't care what goes on with these people after our shift unless I'm friends with them. Does this make me a shallow person? Maybe in some people's eyes, but for me it's about minding my own business and staying focused on my life and those in my life that matter like family and friends.
With that said, I always listen to everything going on around me. I learn from not just my mistakes, but by the mistakes others make. I learn by understanding how things develop around me. I learn by just understanding how people may or may not react to different situations. This is something that I was forced to develop growing up. In the 7th and 8th grades, I lived in an area that had a high gang population, so I always had to be aware of what was going on around me to keep myself safe.
As a parent, I think this method of thinking is the hardest thing to teach your kids. I hate the fact that I have to let my kids fail sometimes so they can learn from the experience. I doubt my kids appreciate that yet, but hopefully one day they'll understand. Letting them fail in school is especially tough, but the couple of times they have failed, they have learned from it. They study more and work harder and hopefully they continue to learn this into Middle School and High School.
One thing I don't do with my kids is sugar coat things. I don't tell them that it was a good job when it wasn't. I don't reward them for failures or for giving it a good try and I don't baby them. However, when they do something right, or make a great play, or ace a test, I praise the heck out 'em. They definitely know when they are doing things right. As long as they are constantly learning, not just book smarts in school, but also street smarts and what is going on around them, I think they'll be fine in the long run. Teaching them to listen to everything around them will help them in all areas of life. They'll be able to keep themselves safer, they will learn about people around them, they will be able to learn about the environment, and if they become a lot more sociable than me, then I think they'll develop better relationships as well.
I am by no means an expert on parenting, psychology, or anything else outside of the IT world. I know I don't know everything, but I do enjoy sharing what I have learned and how I perceive the world around me. I'm always open to what others can add to my thoughts. I'm always open to listening and learning from others around me.
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